words to the wise

1. The Persons family cannot, under any circumstances, successfully throw a surprise party.

2. Playing air hockey/ping pong/any game whatsoever with little kids can be very difficult.

3. Kids fight. Over nothing.

4. They're also very hypocritical.

5. Even sweet little boys can be tough and violent. Apparently it's in their genes.

6. Getting little kids dressed is not easy.

7. Balloons are magic until about third grade, according to Katie. I say seventh grade.

8. Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz is a name.

9. Catering services suck.

10. Though the adults can't find time to watch their kids, they can find the time to systematically go downstairs and steal all the plates with food. Um, hello; I wanted that delicious chocolate brownie.

11. Little kids don't understand that lit candles are dangerous.

12. Adults don't understand that you need to hold your kid so they don't try to stick their fingers in the cake while someone is lighting candles.

13. It's not really fun to be hit repetitively with a balloon. In the face. By a two-year-old.

14. Drinking coke when the only available drinks for cooler people (like me) are sprite, diet coke (disgusting), water, and alcohol isn't very nice.

15. In the Persons family, it's quite possible that you could get away with grabbing a beer while underage.

16. Kiwis are an interesting fruit.

17. I'm under the impression that all cousins younger than five don't know my name.

18. Don't drink the punch. Just don't.

19. Bananas can be in fruit salads. Just make sure you cut them up first.

20. It's perfectly okay to not recognize relatives. They don't recognize you either; they just pretend they do to make you feel good. (The proper thing to do is the pretend along as well.)

epiccccc.

The Pirates game was absolutely, completely, utterly fantastic. Might I share with you some of my night? Yes, I shall.

So, as soon as the game starts (after I sing along to both national anthems and explain multiple times how choosing number 1 seems arrogant) I say, "I hope there's a fight in the game!" So I wish it, so it shall be. Times ten. Seriously, it started out little. And then a good fight between two guys. And then as soon as the first period ended, a big brawl! It was amazing! Even my cousin that doesn't like hockey was squealing with joy.

Then we got ice cream. Cookie dough for me. x)

There was this kid with a bright blue furry hat with bright gold horns. And I wanted it soooo bad. I was going to trade him ice cream for it, but I ate it all. ):

So, I sat in a lame section. Basically, no one stood for goals. Except me. No one yelled/cheered/screamed except me. Well, not until the last goal. And no one but me and the adorable enthusiastic kid kept up the "Let's Go Pirates!" chants.

People who dress up as Pirates are amazing, by the way.

"Silly Peters, goals are for Pirates!"

Where's Conehead?; the new and improved Where's Waldo?

Frosty the goalieman is a very good goalie,
He stopped the shot,
And is really hot,
And that's all I have to sing.
THE END. (sung to Frosty the snowman, obvs.)

Nathan Gerbe is 5'6.
Marc-Andre Gragnani is 6'2 and from Quebec.

Tim Kennedy was the face of the game.

Salty the Pirate dude.

Sabretooth's stripes aren't his natural color! Scandal!
We plan on "Sabertooth-napping" him and dyeing him gold.

You can macarena to anything.

Pregnant women attend hockey games.

"They couldn't move the Bills to Toronto. I mean, what would they call them? The Toronto Bills is totally not alliteration! ....Hmm, there's the Toronto Torpedoes." -me
"The Toronto Tornadoes." -Megs
"The Toronto Trains!" -me
"Trains?!?!?" -Katie
"Well, would you want to get hit with a train?" -me

"We believe in you!" -Megs
"Yeah, we believeeee!" -me
-insert amazing 24 seconds left goal here-
"YESSSS!" -insert lots of cheering/clapping/yelling/etc. here-

wanna be my bestest friend?

Now, I don't ask for much do I? No, no I don't. So it's only fair that I can ask for something now, yes? Yes.

ALL I WANT FOR V-DAY/EASTER/CHRISTMAS/MY BIRTHDAY/HANUKKAH/MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY/THE FOURTH OF JULY/BONFIRE NIGHT/INTERNATIONAL CHOCOLATE DAY IS....

other band members not included.

Tommm. < 333333
Microphone and box not needed.
All I want is the Fletcher, s'il vous plait.