Pre-Season Game Numero YESSSS.

'Kay, so I know I'm not doing game notes. But, THE SABRES JUST TIED UP THE GAME WITH 5 SECONDS REMAINING. That's pretty sweet and note deserving, now isn't it? So pretty much, they're going to overtime and I'm semi-worried. I've already justified them losing, though. I mean, last year the Sabres won like all of the pre-season games and were amazing in them, and then sucked most of the regular season. So maybe if they suck during the pre-season, they'll get it out of their systems and be amazing during the regular season.... Hey, I'm not expecting them to win the Stanley Cup this year or anything, I just want them to do well.

KODA SCORES AND WINS THIS IN OOOOOVERTIME. (:
Don't you love Koda? Ever since I watched Brother Bear with Tess, I think of him as a big lovable bear.

Anyways, that's it for me. Yay Sabres. Yay Koda. Boo me for being for not thinking they could pull through and not listening to most of the game.

Twilight- because I'm that cool.

So as you may or may not know, I'm like obsessed with Twilight series. It comes right after McFly and the Sabres, which are currently tied (that may change since hockey season's starting!). Anyways, I wrote a little story about what should have happened, totally making fun of the book. Being the kind and generous person I am, I thought I'd share it- haha. Enjoy, and remember I really did like the book overall!

Edward was all sparkly and stuff and was totally distracting Bella with the rainbow-sparklyness and super marble-statue handsomeness. And then James came and ate her, which caused Edward to explode. The whole world cheered and James was declared a hero. So Jacob threw a huge party and everyone was invited except Mike because he's an idiot. And then Quil totally imprinted on a baby, like omg. So he was shunned by everyone and kicked out of the party. He promptly got ran over by a bus and then Paul ate the bus. Which made Jared mad because he wanted some too. But Alice told him another bus was coming, only Jared got hit by it. Which made Kim cry and then Jasper accidentally ate her 'cause he was hungry. Then Alice totally dumped him so he ran away and was never seen again. And Jazzy-Jazz-Jazz is such an important person, that without him the world imploded. The end.

And I've got some bonus material for you, making fun of specific scenes. Breaking Dawn warning.

"Don't go Bella."
"But I hate walking in on you and my new step daddy making out. He's like five years older than me- it's gross!"
"Oh, well, okay then. Tell Charlie hi, even though he really should hate me for breaking his heart and divorcing him!"
"Okay, love you mom."

"You nicknamed my daughter after the Loch Ness Monster?"
"Well, at least it's better than Renesmee. I mean really, did you think you were being creative? Next time, let your leech name the kid, Bells."

The reason why so many guys like Bella....
"Hey, Mike,"
"Yeah Tyler?"
"Eric and I heard from Jessica that the new Bella girl won't go out with /any/ guy."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah, Mike. Tyler's telling the truth."
"So you don't think she'd even go out with me?"
"No way, Mike. If she'd go out with anyone, it'd be me."
"In your dreams, Eric."
"How about a bet then? Whichever of us gets Bella to go out on a real date- just the two of them and she has to know it's a date- wins $50 from each of the two losers."
"You're on, Mike."
"Yeah, but add to the rules that she has to willingly kiss you."
"Okay, you're on, Eric."
"Deal."

Post-Breaking Dawn...
"OH MY GOD, MOM. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU KISSED JACOB!"
"Who told you about that, Nessie?!"
"Wait, you really did? I was just joking...."
"Oh..."
"OH MY GOD, HOW COULD YOU KISS MY IMPRINT? THAT'S DISGUSTING! I'M KISSING A GUY MY MOM KISSED!"
And that was the end of Jacob and Nessie....

"So, if Ness and Jake have a kid, what would it be? One-fourth vampire, one-forth wolf, and one-half human? Wow, I'm glad I imprinted on a human."
"Yeah, a three-year-old."
"HEY, SHE'LL BE FOUR IN AUGUST!"

Pre-Season Game Numero LAME.

Okay, so I didn't do game notes, nor did I plan on it. I was too busy selling pies to the Sabres wives, ha. Anyways, so I listened to the game and they dropped the puck in the last however many seconds, when the Sabres weren't ready? What the hell is that? Just because this is some big ceremony for the Habs doesn't mean you can cheat. Loser refs, I bet they're Canadian.

Pre-Season Game Numero Uno. YAY.

Sabres vs. the Make-Beliefs. -9/22

1. HOORAY, THE SEASON IS FINALLY STARTING- SORT-OF!
2. Wow. Penalty to the guy with the impossible long name. What was that, five seconds in? Ha.
3. Staffy rocks with his immediate start.
4. ZAGGIE SCORES! And Sir. Cake Maker* got the assist, I think.
5. 'Nother penalty to the Leafies. In your faces.
6. Ouch, penalty to us. Blah, whatever.
7. I love how there's not really anything for Neale to say 'cause the season hasn't really started. It's completely "last year, blah, blah, blah...." Ha.
8. Miller robbed a guy, apparently. Apparently it's okay to steal, as long as you're a goalie.
9. I don't like this having to listen to the radio. I miss seeing the game.
10. Haha, no goal dude. Millsy pwns you.
11. "Miller's a little slow to get up. I don't know if he got hit in the midsection..." Um, no comment....
12. Shang? Isn't that like the dude from Mulan? Guess he plays hockey when he's not fighting Huns.
13. Perry's. Mmmmm.
14. "As we get older, it's normal to forget things." Why did I find this hilarious? Just because the girl sounds happy about memory loss?
15. Dude, they didn't take the commercial brake? And they scored? I bet it was during the memory loss commercial. Stupid Canadians.
16. SHAKE, SHAKE, SHAKE, SHAKE, I SHAKE IT. Somehow the background music doesn't fit with two somewhat old guys talking about hitting a moose.
17. Finger? Since when is that a name?
18. 'Dinky' penalty to Koda. And a cheesy joke from Neale. "I think he hit Finger in the finger."
19. Okay, so why would I want to buy the DVD of the Winter Classic? We lost. xp
20. Ooh, a fight? A lame little thing, but still.
21. Oops. Missed a bit of the game. Nothing major happening, right?
22. Someone swam to make the save? What, did the ice melt?
23. Go Sir. Cake Maker, being in the right places even if you don't get a goal.
24. I really wanna see how our defense is doing. So far, we haven't been in our own end much. That's good.
25. Every time I hear something about Sekera, I start singing 'Sekera-Sekera'.
26. Goal, ouch. Our D looks pretty weak. Then again, they're all (except Tally and Spacey) like under the age of 15, right?
27. Oooooh. A fight! GO KALETA!
28. Peters is thrown out? Ha.
29. Neale is pretty funny sometimes. "Well, we know he wasn't going over to ask Lindy how his summer was."
30. I think the refs are really stressed or something; they're overreacting a bit. Upset about their summer vaca being over?
31. End of period one, Leafies leading. Yuck.
32. "A tree falls in a forest, what kind of tree is it?" Wow, that commercial made me laugh like crazy for some reason.
33. Replay of the fight? What's the point if we can't see it? xp 34. Wow, Mairsy's voice is a lot deeper than I'd thought it was.
35. Julie is annoying. And I intentionally made sure I used this number. xp 36. It makes me laugh when RJ says "youngster."
37. Ouch. Goal. We suck.
38. Do you think this is karma for me saying the dude singing the anthems was bad? xp
39. Penalty to Leafies? Huzzah. 40. Ouch. Didn't make the goal. 41. I'm having trouble focusing on the game. Yawn.
42. 'Nother Power Play to us. Good... I hope.
43. Enroth is getting in goal. Yay.
44. Okay, why does RJ keep saying "Mancari" wrong? Or does everyone else say it wrong?
45. I've come to the conclusion that the game is over. We're down by three. But I don't blame Frosty*, I bet he wasn't expecting the shot.
46. How come Rob Ray advertises so much stuff?
47. Aww, good try Sekera-Sekera.
48. I think I'm having Pommerdoodle withdrawal. I miss him. But having Zaggie, Sir. Cake Maker, and other cool 'rookies' is sweet to the max.
49. I'm the biggest Zaggie fan in the world. -totally just remembered that from last year-
50. Wow, I just missed a lot. I was listening, but not paying attention.
51. Second period over. 4-1, Leafs. Definitely karma for being mean to the singer dude.
52. Yay. Sabres goal. Google*** scored, set up by Sir. Cake Maker and Zaggie. (:
53. "At least he tried to bleed." Ha, I always found the bleeding rule of high sticking is a bit stupid.
54. Sekera-Sekera got thrown in the box. Ew. That's mean since apparently the dude stepped on his stick.
55. Uck, another goal. Poor Frosty, he's melting.
56. Some stuff happened. Yeah, I wasn't paying attention....
57. Apparently Sabretooth is already in that Montreal-ish place that the Sabres are playing in tomorrow. Just thought you'd be dying to know his whereabouts.
58. Zaggie lost his stick and was yelling at someone or something? I think my radio's too quiet; I'm having trouble hearing over the clacking keyboard noise.
59. Yay, Mancari scored. =) I swear, I think I saw him at my church one time....
60. Zaggie got an assist off that goal, he's on fire dudeeee. Oh and Spacey got an assist too.
61. Now the Leafs got a penalty, I think?
62. Stupid Leafs goal. Poor Frosty.
63. Hecht scores. Yay. Go Germans.
64. So now the score is 6-4, in favor of the Leafies. Hmmm. What's the chance of the Sabres miraculously pulling through?
65. Not much.
66. Wide open net goal. Doesn't really affect me, I knew the game was over for us.
67. Well, we lost. But I'm really happy about Zaggie playing so well. Sir. Cake Maker too.

* Sir. Cake Maker is Clarke MacArthur; the nickname derives from Sara calling him Sir. MacArthur and Tessa thinking my signed MacArthur puck said Cake Maker.
** Frosty is our new back-up, back-up goalie, Jhonas Enroth. Enroth=Froth=Frothy=Frosty. That's how my mind works, anyways. Ha.
*** Googley is Philip Gogulla. I heart his name. And he's a German, so him and Hecht must be BFFZ.

What I found cleaning out my backpack

Besides the junk, old post-it notes, a box of stale wheat thins, my planner, bio book, and food wrappers, I found a certain list I wrote.

Evil plans for team WEY:
1. Anchors (only to Mario + Luigi)
2. Stealing pears (sort-of lame, though)
3. "tuning" the violin (or should I say viola?)
4. Something with water balloons or tomatoes.
5. Messing up Mr. Frenchie Imposter's hair- a lot.
6. KICKING THEIR BUTTS AT GLOBALS!!!
7. Leaving Scott with them.
8. Saying random weird stuff to them ("I see dead people").
9. Doing that ghost thing ("If anyone's there, knock twice.")
10. Say we hear knocking and claim their room is haunted.
11. Make a long + complicated story up about the ghost.
12. Leave a walkie talkie and proceed to "haunt" room.
13. Three words; in my pants. (aka play that) ((corrupt them))
14. Pretend we don't speak English when they know we do.
15. Speak with a strange accent and claim all people from Buffalo do.
16. Insult them kindly! ("I hate when people wear yellow- oh but it looks nice on you!")
17. Oreos and toothpaste?
18. Cookies + cream cheese- creep them out.
19. Throw bananas at them- it worked for Harry.
20. Get David Wagner to stalk them.
21. Show them a pic of Madame.
22. Tell them Scott is really from Mars, but they don't have to worry because he doesn't eat brains as much as he used to.
23. Show off our amazing Clarence Orchestra pencils. Jealous much?
24. Talk non-stop hockey.
25. Pretend to love a sport called Lafootkey and convince them it's real.
26. Pretend you have an imaginary pet and talk to it all the time (Blinky).
27. Sing. Loud. Badly.
28. Wear all your clothes backwards and claim it's a fashion statement.
29. Have someone get them sick.
30. Spit excessively. (hockey player style!)
31. Disagree with everything they say- especially when they're right!
32. Tell the same, boring, stories over and over.
33. Laugh obnoxiously, even when thinks aren't funny.
34. We have the Sabres- in their faces!
35. Hats + freezers = fun.
36. "Accidentally" spill things on them.
37. Talk in a secret code/language.
38. When they ask questions, answer it "Morrey style" ("Oh, you know.")

When Summer Fades To Fall

Ah, summer. It's a wonderful thing to be off from school; too bad it has to end. With September quickly approaching, it's just about time to say goodbye to this beloved time of year. So I thought, why not share my summer in list form? Lists are my thing, dude.

1. Florida is hotter than people say it is.

2. I don't tolerate warm weather well.

3. Lizards are cooler than you'd think.

4. Komodo Dragons are so not worth the walking to see in Animal Kingdom. They're just really big lizards sitting there doing nothing. The tigers were worth it, though.

5. Disney is huge. Walking sucks.

6. Cheap hotels are cheap. You'd think being 15 minutes from Disney they'd give you the Disney channel. Losers.

7. When you grow up in a family where they let the kids run around doing whatever and no adult pays attention, it's cool until you're the teenager who is, for some strange reason, supposed to now watch and take care of said little kids. Then it totally sucks.

8. Not many people could survive attending a Persons' family party, let alone being part of the Persons family. It's an art that takes years of practice.

9. It's really strange when your relatives come up to you and start talking, then after they walk away you're wondering who they were.

10. Aunt Toni is unforgettable. We still cringe away when we see her, remembering when she used to kiss our cheeks. Ughhhh.

11. Seeing your grandfather drunk is really weird. Hearing your mom and uncle discussing it the next day, even weirder.

12. Airplanes are ear-killers, but worth it when you're pretty much completely certain Adam Mair was on your flight.

13. Food from the airport is awful. It doesn't matter if you're only getting a bagel with cream cheese and orange juice; still awful.

14. Parents don't understand that it's absolutely necessary to not only get something from Disney, but buy just about everything cool from Ron Jon's Surf shop. That includes a new skateboard (or four), a surfboard (who cares if I won't use it?), some shell necklaces, guys hoodies (come on, they were Quicksilver), amazing Hurley shirts, and just about everything else in the store.

15. You should be careful picking up shells; they might still have a crab inside.

16. It's completely unnecessary to have a hot tub in Florida.

17. Cockroaches are disgusting.

18. When parents make lame excuses, they expect you to go along with them and not point out the flaws.

19. When you point out the flaws in their lame excuse, they'll start saying something about how when you're older you can go do/get/see whatever it is.

20. If you plan on pretending to throw darts at characters from a book, wait for the series to be finished or you might regret it later.

21. Euro homework doesn't magically disappear, no matter how much you want it too.

22. Got Plague?

23. Midnight book parties are more fun when you actually participate in stuff instead of standing outside the building for an hour.

24. It sucks to read a book where the main character has your name and their life sucks. Especially when said character's adorable son named Tom dies.

25. Cullen Jones is just about the most freaking awesome name ever.

26. Thomas Cedward Jasper Wolfe is probably the most freaking awesome name ever, but it'd be cooler to have three kids and name them Thomas, Cedward, and Jasper.

27. It's not sad when you've listened to songs long enough to know all the lyrics, which band member sings them, and the instrumental bits. You just have a good memory.

28. Being a vegetarian or vegan is a good goal but really hard to complete when your dinner is "shut up and eat it."

29. Winnie the Pooh is messed up. Some characters have names (Eeyore, Winnie) and some are just called what animal they are (Rabbit, Owl).

30. When Disney has character peoples walking around the parks, they don't keep proper scale of character size. Not to mention Pluto shouldn't be standing on two legs.

31. Koreans are really good at archery.

32. You can learn important skills on TV. I'm practically qualified to fix screwed up dogs and kids now.

33. 99.99999% of the time when dogs or kids are screwed up, it's the parent/owner's fault.

34. It's easy to say you'll go running all summer, it's harder to keep it up.

35. Gilmore Girls is just about the most amazing show ever.

36. Oy with the poodles already is not only incredibly catchy, but really fun to say.

37. Kids these days have no imagination and are pretty much being set up to be idiots, spoiled brats, and, well, other bad stuff.

38. Those stupid reading pens that read for you don't help kids to learn. They're awful and should die. And the commercials are so... infuriating. It's like "hey, would you rather look at this book about your favorite TV shows and movies or this one about some boring subject?" NOT FAIR STUPID PEOPLE. There's so many good books out there kids could actually read and learn from.

39. People should read more for fun. Maybe they'd be smarter.

40. Laughing when you learned McFly turned the Jonas Brothers down when they asked McFly to write them a song is totally acceptable. As well as being relieved they did turn them down.

41. Miley Cyrus and/or Hannah Montana is not a good role model. She acts like a brat in her TV show, her songs are rubbish, and since when is having multiple personalities a good thing?

42. The guy on Cash Cab is quite similar to Shaw. It's nice to know he has a fallback if attempting to teach high school students to play instruments doesn't work out.

43. Adults generally do not understand that you need at least a week of doing nothing in the summer. It's called "relaxing."

44. Nor do parents understand sleeping in is perfectly acceptable.

45. TV shows are utter crap these days. What happened to things like Boy Meets World? Funny, teaching morals, all that good stuff. Nooo, now they just have shows with spoiled bratty girls as the main characters.

46. Sarcasm isn't just a skill; it's an art. Practically a language.

47. If you talk about something enough, you might get other people to like it. Or hate you.

48. Downloading music in a not-so-legal way is completely acceptable when that music has been released for free and the only reason you couldn't get it is because it was given away free in another country. It's totally not fair, too.

49. Teenagers generally have no taste in music and just go with what's mainstream.

50. It's sad when you can apply Murdered in the Mosh to way too many people you know. And ironic since they don't even know what I'm talking about.

51. There's a difference between knowing mainstream songs and liking them.

52. Artists who don't write their own songs are kinda pathetic.

53. Artists who don't play their own instruments, a little more pathetic.

54. Once you know the hidden meaning behind "cheese twists" you'll never be able to hear that phrase without laughing.

55. When people ask you why you like Jasper, you have to remember you can't punch them in the face and instead have to say something witty like "Why don't you like Jasper?"

56. Quil and Claire are absolutely adorable, if you think about it.

57. Bella is an awful character. Edward is just as awful. Perfection is so overrated.

58. F.P. is obviously pronounced differently by Canadians.

59. Going up the down escalator is extremely good exercise.

60. Having older siblings can ruin everything; you're expected to be the good one that doesn't dye your hair, get a tattoo, have piercings, or just plain misbehave in any way parents could find misbehaving.

61. Being obsessively green seems fun but slightly scary.

62. People should be put in jail if they don't recycle.

63. It sucks when wheat thins get stale. They're all not crunchy.

64. Ranting is really, really easy.

65. Seeing old pictures of yourself is almost cringe-worthy.

66. Seeing an old picture of yourself wearing a Spice Girls shirt is cringe-worthy.

67. Accidentally slapping someone when you're on a rollercoaster is hilarious.

68. Wearing a vintage dress is annoying. It gets really itchy and painful after a few hours.

69. You'd never guess who the real Harry Potter is.

70. "Fat giggles" is now a term that must be used in regular conversation daily.

71. McFly's new songs are amazing and Tom is reallyyyyyyy fit.

72. Simon Amstell is awesome, as well as hilarious. "Are you doing the press lady?"

73. The Twilight series was horribly written but quite addictive.

74. Jared is a character from Twilight... hahahahaha.

Okay, I'll stop there before I have over 100.

Sabres vs Canadiens Game Notes;; 2/29

1. I know this has absolutely nothing to do with the game, but who really cares? Anyways, poor Soupy's hair clashes with his new jersey. Sigh.

2. Okay, I know you're totally jealous. I think I might-have-probably-did see Henrik Tallinder and kids outside his house today. Two little adorable children and a guy shoveling snow off his driveway. And as my bus went by, he stopped to look at it with his classic Tallinder smirk.

3. They're benching Sir MacArthur?! I might just cry.

4. I don't like Paetsch haircut. Grow it out, dude.

5. Carey Price looks like he's fifteen.... Even Patrick Kane looks older!

6. What's the difference between linesmen and refs? I've never understood.

7. Oh great, the Canadiens are #1 on the powerplay.

8. GO MILLER! He just robbed that dude blind.

9. But they score anyways. Ew.

10. Sabres, are you sleeping? Please wake up.

11. Piña Kaleta pounds that guy! I think Mairsy helped too.

12. Pie is very speedy.

13. Nice giveaway, Lydman. Annoying. But Labatt Pond Hockey commercial revives my spirits.

14. There's Afinogenov! I can tell by his unpredictable skating!

15. What the freak was that? We're the Canadiens feeding you poisoned apples before the game, or something? It feels like an ironic twist to Snow White. Sabres and the seven dwarfs? Snow White and the Seven Sabres? Oh, I got it. Sabretooth and the Seven Sabres.

16. Good Goose. Protecting little Piña Kaleta. I bet he treats Piña Kaleta like one of his little goslings.

17. This commercial annoys me. You're not the “Wizard of Za”, weirdo.

18. We're just getting shut down, aren't we? Lazy slackers.

19. Shoving Royzie? Excuse me? Jerk-faced-loser. I'm sure Kaleta will take care of him. What I wouldn't give to hear the words Piña Kaleta exchanged....

20. First period sucked. The only Sabres I can stand at the moment would be Miller and... um... Sabretooth. Everyone else is either poisoned by the apples the Canadiens somehow gave them before the game or just plain a lazy slacker. Now excuse me while I try to forget those 20 minutes ever happened....

21. OMG KOOLAID MAN! Uh, don't ask.... I miss Sweet Home.

22. Captain talk. Ooooh. TV as captain, Robey? I like that idea.

22b. I get to watch roughly 15 minutes more and then I have to go. I'm actually not that depressed.

24. LaPierre? Can you get any more French? I'm disgusted.

25. Vanek has helmet hair. Haha.

26. Maybe a powerplay is just what we need...

27. Guess so. GO VANEK!

28. Penalty to Goose? Ew.

29. Now I have to go. Ew. I hope we win.